Personal Philosphies and Theories

[Tyual]

So you've come up with this belief on life, this philosophy of the way something works and why.

Share it with us. Have it discussed and debated, is it right or is it wrong and for what reasons?

Your ideas opened for sharing and discussion.

[2bfoundwanting]

Hmm. this is way too broad a topic. There are so many things in life that one can have a philosophy on.

So how bout.. hm. ill talk about my philosophy of how to treat other people.

First of all, my biggest pet peeve and annoyance is being hypocritical. I hate it when other people are and i despise it when I am. I do everything in my power to not be a hypocrit. SO you know when youre in the car or walking down the street and you see someone walking doing something weird and you say "goodness, what is that person doing? weirdo!" but then a few days later you find yourself doing something similar?

For me i am extremely aware of things i do because once i do something that i thought weird of another person i try to change my mind about that action and then when i see someone else doing said weird thing i understand it.

Basically if I find out that I am being hypocritical i spend time thinking about it and then decide to either change what I am doing or change what I think about whatever i was hypocritical about.

Another thing is that i have a lot of trouble disliking people and i dont hate anyone. I always force myself to look at the situation through their eyes. Except, not half heartedly.. really look at it as if you were them and understand that everyone does everything for some reason. Then i realize how similar they must be to me and i find i cant really hate them or dislike them, because what they are doing seems justified.
But many people do frustrate me and or annoy me, and certain things such as those big 'no nos' like murder ect. are ones that aren't forgiven simply because they think they have a reason for it.

Finally, concerning respect... everyone that i meet is granted an equal amount of respect from the begining. All of my good friends are people i respect greatly, and my respect for them continues to grow. I can not be friends with people i do not respect. As easy as it is to gain my respect and as hard as it is to lose it.. once the last straw breaks the camels back and the respect is lost, then it is gone. And is extremely hard to earn again.

SO that is my personal philosophy concerning strangers, friends and "enemies". Wow, i wrote way too much, sorry its so long! It may not sound like plato, but eh, its still a personal philosophy.. i think.

[Tyual]

LOL that's not long =) I've taken time to develop entire theories in writing before. I'm sure they can be found somewhere in my very old Xanga posts.

I know what you mean about hypocracy. I dislike it. I do everything I can to make sure I'm not one. Mistakes happen sometimes, but I try not to let them in that field.

Also agree that reflection and making decisions is a good thing. Do I like things the way they are? If not, then why? Okay so when I know why, then what am I going to do to change it? Useful thought process, for me at least.

Having the ability to see a topic from all points of view is a useful ability that not many people have. Most people are so stuck in their beliefs that they can't being to conceive how someone else thinks what they do if it's different. I can, doesn't mean I'm going to agree with what someone else thinks, but at least I can kind of look at it their way and understand it or accept it. I don't have to agree with everyone about everything, knwo what I mean?

I reserve hating people for a very select number. If I hate you, then you've seriously screwed up somewhere. I have people I dislike, but they aren't that many. Most people I either like or am indifferent to. (As in I don't give a ***** about them)

As for the murder not being forgiven, I can't agree. There are cases where I think murder is called for. Such as self defense. Sorry, but if some guy tries to shoot me and I shoot him first, well I'd say I'm pretty justified in murdering him. Some dude breaks in my house, then I'm justified in doing what I have to. There are cases where it's alright.

As for respect, it's a give to get thing. You give respect, you get it. When I meet someone, I show them a good level of respect, if they return it, then I work on the same respect level as them. If they don't, then I don't show them respect either. As they give respect, they get it. As I give respect, I expect it in return.

So that's mine for those topics.

[2bfoundwanting]

Im happy to have found someone who can look at things and understand and accept them as well! They are hard to find. I have a few friends that sometimes get me really angry because they dont understand that you dont have to agree with someone for their point to be valid, or that there are many different points of view.

Thats why i have such a hard time defining what i believe, because I see so many other peoples points of view and sometimes i begin to understand and almost believe very conflicting ideas.
It seems like youve spent alot of time trying to understand what you believe, and while ive tried to do so as well, i dont think im quite as defined as you are.

As for the murder thing, I agree with you. I just meant that... I cant always forgive just because they think they have a reason. And murder was just one of the extreme examples i could think of. Its kind of like.. the "theres an exception to every rule, including this one" thing. You want to say that all murder is bad, but then there is self defence, and other situations where it may be justified.
It can get REALLY confusing though when you allow there to be exceptions. Ive spent lots of time thinking through everything i think should be unforgivable and every time i come up with at least one or two exceptions. It makes it really hard to make rules!

And i guess i lied about not hating anyone. I have hated people, I just dont continue to hate them. Ive found its almost impossible for me to hold a grudge, even when i want to. It can get almost frustrating, especially when someones done something terrible to me that i dont want to forgive, but its not in my nature to continue to hold it against them! But yup. Mostly I either like you, dont really care either way, or I find you annoying.

ah, i can tell im going to like this site already, it so great to debate and explain ideas like philosophy ect. Fun Fun Fun. ;D

[Tyual]

I know what you mean. Just because you have a reason don't make it a justified or correct reason. There are exceptions to everything, and it always causes all kinds of problems. Especially when you get people who want to deal in asbolutes. I hate people who do that. Life is -NOT- black and white. Actually, it's primarially grey!

As for being defined on it, well I'd say that's because I've spent the past few years with not enough sleep spending nites staring at my ceiling thinking about it. Don't know that it's made me more defined, but I've had a lot of time to think about it.

I don't hold grudges well either. I make a lot of mistakes, and I understand that other people do. I don't want them getting mad at me for my mistakes, so I try not to get mad at them for theirs. I forgive people their ignorances as well. When people don't know any better, they just don't know. Stupidity on the other hand, I'm not as relaxed on. If I dislike or hate you, then odds are you've seriously wronged me, are so irreperably braindead that I can't bring myself to deal with you. And that's pretty bad. (Ask Mistress about my best friend, he's not exactly in the smart classification.)

Philosophy, especially personal ones, are one of my favorite topics and pasttimes =) Religious and political debates are unavoidable. They're two things you never bring up in a room of more than 1 person (yourself) lest you start an arguement/disagreement.

[2bfoundwanting]

I dont know if I am as ... uhm... nice about ignorant people. I try to avoid them as best i can... Ive been told Im pretty open minded, and I do try to be, but I have also been told that I can be very stubborn. And unfortunately sometimes i can have a bit of a temper when it comes to ignorance or stupidity. So, I guess thats something i need to work on.

Another thing that really bothers me is when people say that it doesn't matter because there isn't anything they can do.. or they admit that they are selfish and they think that because they admitted it its allright. My sister does that all the time. She will do something completley terrible to a friend or even to my parents and when I call her on it she says... 'Yah well I am a brat.' Like that makes it allright.

Or the other day i got into an argument about the environment (because i just saw the movie an inconvenient truth) and the guy was saying that it doesn't matter because he will be dead and he is selfish and blah blah blah... and i got really upset. It was pretty bad... haha the only upside is that unlike most people, when i get really really upset i get more eloquent and articulate than when i am not upset. So normally i am able to get my point across well.

But yah, my philosophy is basically to know myself as best as i can and to continue to improve myself constantly so I can get closer and clsoer to the person I want to be. When I was younger i was really selfish and bratty and snobby and all that and it wasn't until Jr High that i decided i needed to change, and ever since then ive worked on knowing exactly who I am and deciding what i need to change and what I like about myself and will never change for anyone.

Anyways, i think that we're gona have fun on this site, I forsee many debates and conversations concerning philosophy, religion and more with you. It will be fun! = )

[Tyual]

Yeah, and it's a long process. I've been working on it for years.

I deal with ignorance alright, but if it persist into stupidity, then I get to be an *** about it at times. Like you, I avoid them in the first place if at all possible, but it isn't always.

Although I will admit: I'm not a big environmentalist. Like the thing with drilling in Alaska: There is plenty of area there for the animals to live, talking a bit of it for all the benefits it'd bring in oil is worth making the animals move a few miles in some other direction. However, I don't support mass destruction of rain forests, or any massive scale destruction of environment reallly. I've grown up around farming and I know how important it can be.

[2bfoundwanting]

Hm. Im a pretty big environmentalist.. for me, its not the drilling in Alaska or things such as that that i have a huge problem with... its the after affects that bother me. I mean, its pretty much agreed upon by most scientists in as few as 50 years Greenland and Antartica could both melt which would raise the ocean level at least 20 feet... displacing millions of people. So for me its like, sure go get money thats your perogative, but dont be wasteful. I duno. I guess, Im not a fanatic... but I do really care about our future. I think past generations have left us in a really *****y situation as far as tons of debt and an environment that is deteriorating. And i just dont want to leave my children with no hope for a future, seeing as i understand how frustrated I am even now when there is still a chance to change things.

The only thing i will say for ignorant people is... ignorance really is bliss. And sometimes i wish i was still ignorant. I mean. Not ever seriously, I love that I am able to think through things critically and that I am at least mildly knowledgeable.. but it does cause some meloncholly thoughts now and again.

[seffy]

My feelings are that the Human Race is inherantly(sp) hippocritical. We describe ourselves as a civilised race. I say we are a war-like race. We prey on each other all the time, whether it for land or resources, such as the wars in the middle-east, or for a toy or a football in the playground at school. How many times do we hear on the news about a woman being attacked because she refused the advances of some drunk in a bar? Or some Old Aged Pensioner getting mugged for their pension money. How many people are shot for being the wrong colour, the wrong religion or just in the wrong place? This is civilised? Of course it isn't. So how can we describe ourselves as civilised?

I would also like to ask, what exactly is Philosophy? I've heard people speak about Phulosophy before, but could never fully understand what it is. Is it an ideal? A set of, for want of a better word, rules or guidelines?

[2bfoundwanting]

I waver on this idea. Sometimes i think that Humanity is inherently evil and others i think it is basically good, just mislead and corrupt. More often then not I believe the second, but sometimes its hard not to believe the first.

Now forgive me, I will try to explain what i think to be Philosophy, but i have a monster bug bite thats driving me crazy and distracting me.. os it might be ununderstandable.

The way i look at philosophy is that it is a set of beliefs and/or guidelines that govern the way one thinks of themselves and the world/reality/people around them. The dictionary definition is.. *looks it up on dictionary.com* ... wow. there are alot of definitions.
Ill put down a few.

1)Love and pursuit of wisdom by intellectual means and moral self-discipline.
2)Investigation of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods.
3)The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs.
4)A system of values by which one lives: has an unusual philosophy of life.

And many more. So there you go, thats the best I can do. = )

[Tyual]

The human race is civilized in the sense that we have law and rules. We are uncivilized in the fact that we do not follow them.

Although I must admit my own decivilization in that I do not agree with all the rules and laws of man. I find war accpetable for the right reasons.

I believe more than anything we are survivalist. We do what we think we have to to continue life as we know it. If that means we have to fight the middle east for war to continue to live with its comforts, then we'd do it. We want to maintain that level of living. And even when living degrades to its simplist form, we still fight to ensure our survival, even at that primitive level of life.

We're also comfortist. We like to live comfortably, and so we do everything possible to make ourselves as comfortable as possible. If this means war, then it means war.

Personally I support war for certain reasons, but not others.

As for the environment: I agree, Lisi. We should respect it, but there are times when we should use it for our benefit, but we shouldn't splurge and abuse it.

Seffy: I define a person's philosophy as their set of ideals and beliefs about anything and everything. All of the ones Lisi listed are also correct definitions. Philosophy itself is a very broad topic. It's not too hard to see how they're all very interlaced and linked together though.(The 4 she gave.)

[2bfoundwanting]

WELL. i personally believe that war is childish 98% of the time. I think that its mostly because some people in power are having a pissing contest, trying to stay on top, be the world power becuase of their little ol pride and need for power. And i think 98% of the time it can be avoided and that the big men in office can sometimes act like silly little boys.

And try to ignore the ineloquence of that. Im being distracted by elmo.

[Tyual]

I agree, war is usually over petty crap that doesn't matter. Who's got the biggest ego and the gun power to back it up?

However, in some cases, war is acceptable and needed. Such as independence, stopping genocides, and a few other things. Even World War I was stupid. It was two countries bickering over some duke getting killed, so the whole countries went to war over it, when it could've been settled easier, and the whole frickin world got dragged in. That was retarded! But yeah, there are some cases when war is acceptable. However it's usually stupid and childish. I agree.

[2bfoundwanting]

OH my goodness, i totally agree! When i learned what World War 1 was over i was so suprised. It was so ridiculous! It was just like.. tiny little spark and a huge kaboom! Silly Franz Ferdinand... getting killed and all.

Its amazing how different (and yet similar) world war I and II were

[Tyual]

True that, but we better stick to topic or else the trigger happy lady will come lock the thread, and then I'd be rather pissed off, because I like this thread...

So next topic for personal philosophies: Relationships. I'd say any type, but we've addressed our day-to-day person relationships already, so I'll say dating to start it out.

Since I provide topic I'll let someone else provide their philosophy first. =) (That's my way of saying I'm lazy and don't want to type mine out right now.)

[2bfoundwanting]

Well. I dont have a real dating philosophy, as ive never dated.. but pretending i have..

i would say that if i were to date someone, it would never be for just looks. I mean, id like if they were attractive, but never only because they are attractive. It would have to be a forgiving relationship were we listened to eachother.. meaning, not getting uber jealous and breaking up over something stupid. But one thing that would break the relationship up right away would be cheating. That is not allowed. I mean, if a guy cheated on me with like a kiss, but broke away and then apologized to me profusely for a longtime, i might forgive him... but anything more and i would not. I think cheating is dispicable, and if you like someone else more than the person youre with then you should break up with them.

When it comes to breaking up, i believe once the feelings are gone, one should break up. And as long as it was because of that, not because someone did something terrible, i dont think i would be too devestated to be broken up with. If the guy was a total jerk about it then i would obviously have problems.. but anyways..

so thats i dont know what more to say without a prompting question.. so i guess thats all ill say till someone else says something and a debate can start!

[Tyual]

Wow I'm ticked...everything I was typing got erased.....I'll redo it all later! God that ticks me off! Ugh!

[2bfoundwanting]

Are you ever going to enlighten us, Ty?

[Tyual]

Yes, hopefully tomorrow. Currently it's 2:20 AM and I'm not feeling well, I'm just checking things. I'll be doing this and my religious thread updates tomorrow sometime.

[Tyual]

Okay so I'm going to ATTEMPT to get this as good as I had it before, when my browser went crazy and made me lose it all....

1) Looks. I agree, never just for looks. I know plenty of beautiful girls I wouldn't date because they dont have compatable personalities. Although, I am honest enough to say that looks do matter some. Why? That's the first thing you notice about a person, and as far as physical attraction goes, it is the main factor. So yes, while they do matter, they are not the make-or-break of a relationship, they just help in noticing in the first place. I mean, even if I like a girl, I'm sorry but if she's doing a failed attempt to look goth, that's a big negative for me and it is going to influence rather I want to be with that person. Same with if she dresses rich and preppy all the time, never down to earth in like jeans a tshirt.

2) I believe 3 things make a fundament relationship. Trust, Compatability, and Chemistry. You have to trust eachother, or you fight all the time and accuse eachother of stuff, and either break up or have a bad relationship. This is a maturity issue. Also, you need to have compatable personalities. If I can't get along with a girl, then I'm not going to try to have a relationship with her. It doesn't make good sense. Personality for me is probably the biggest factor. And then chemistry. When you really feel something for someone, not that momentary thing, then that's chemistry. I mean you can have momentary attraction because of working on the same level in a conversation and conneceting, or for physical reasons, but chemistry is what goes beyond all those things, it's just that feeling you have for eachother. And that doesn't burn out.

I was thinking you said something about breaking up because the feelings are gone? Well if you have true chemistry, then those feelings don't go away. If they do, then it was just a momentary attraction (crushes count as these. So they can last a long time, the temporary feelings.)

I've had relationships I passed up just because I didn't have that special chemistry with the other person. And I spent a lot of time thinking about it, but honestly, if that feeling isn't there and youv'e been around them enough to know that it's just not there, then there's no point in hurting them more by letting them think that there is.

3) Cheating...I HATE it with a passion. I've had some serious fights with my friend over this, because as much of a brother as he may be to me, I cannot stand the way he typically treats girls. And cheating is one of those things that he's done. I've made him get away from me and stay away when he's playing girls. It's childish, immature, and wrong to play with someone else's feelings.

4) I believe in a relationship, you want to be with that person. That means when I have a girlfriend, yes I want to see her and spend time with her. Does this mean I agree with being clingy? No. I mean, I don't care if she takes nights to hang out with the girls, but I want her to take time and spend with me too. And I expect the same from her, wanting me to spend time with her, but not minding me hanging out with the guys sometimes. And if you have the things I mentioned in point 2, then I don't find this to be a problem.

5) I don't disagree with temporary dating. I mean, if you know it's just a highschool fling, not like you're planning on getting married, and both understand that, then I don't see why that's a problem. Why? It helps you get prepared for when you do have that real relationship. It helps you mature. I think it's a good thing, as long as at least subconciously it's understood that it probably won't last.

6) Breaking up. I've seen people break up over the STUPIDEST things. I've also seen relationships that were bad and should've been ended, but the girl was scared to (can't say I've seen one where the guywas the one being done wrong really.) Personally, I believe there are things that are acceptable for breaking up. However, I don't think it's something to be done casually in a serious relationship. I mean, if someone cheats in any form, then that's grounds to, or lies about something serious, or becomes abusive or possessive, etc. However, just because you get in an arguement over something stupid, or he hangs out with another girl or her with another guy (or in some cases I've seen, even just talk to the person), or because your friends say you should. Then no. That's stupid. I mean, you're in a relationship, you should be mature enough to work through your problems. If you trust them, then you trust them to be around the opposite sex without cheating, and your friends aren't your friends if they tell you to breakup just because of popularity or disliking the person. Now in some cases, the person is being abusive or something and the friends tell you to break up, that's because they see it, and know you are scared, and it's more trying to encourage you to do what you know you should do...

So yeah...that's it again...not near as good as I had it the first time I feel, but I think it gets the jist across.

[2bfoundwanting]

I disagree a little bit, but mostly you are spot on. I do believe that you can be in love with someone... and that the feelings can fade away. Say for instance, that the other person changes because you ahve been with them for such a long period of time that events have made them different.. You may not hate them, they may not have cheated or lied about something terrible, but they have changed and you no longer have the spark. I dont think that makes the relationship any less important.

Example being my friend Laura. She went out with a guy for two years and it was one of the best relationships i had ever seen, they both respected and loved eachother immensly. But over those two years, especially with it being highschool, they changed. And their ideals were different. He thought they would get married, she didn't think about that. He changed and so did she and she found that she no longer loved him romantically. So she broke up with him. I dont think that makes their two years together any less special.

I also dissagree slightly with your ideas about breaking up. I do agree that it can be ridiculous when someone breaks up and then makes up like ten times. But i dont think that there is ever something that is not worthy of breaking up over. I dont think anyone should ever say... oh im not going to break up with the guy because he didn't lie cheat or abuse me. If they have a huge fight and break up over it, maybe thats a sign they aren't meant to be together. I also think that you shouldn't totally disregard your friends.
No you should NEVER break up because someone else tells you to, but should you disregard your best friends advice about her feelings that they guy your going out with is bad for you? No. Sometimes you are blinded by the "love" you feel for them and dont see things right.

Another thing i was thinkging about is I think one aspect of love is being able to tell when something is wrong, and knowing when to ask and help and knowing when not to. I am tired of people always asking me "whats wrong?" because I am not laughing or smiling. Someone who really knew me and loved me would know when i was truley upset. I know its possible, because i am able to do so with the people I love. I also think that love is knowing when to back off. There are times when the other person doesn't want help and you need to respect that.

I duno i was just think about that today because one of my guy friends was really upset, and i could tell.. though no one else could. I asked him how he was and he got very defensive. I pried for a little while, butthen you have to know that they will tell you when the time is right.



Yah. Sorry for rambling, and sorry if i got a little off topic. But im done know. so yay for that. heh

[Tyual]

Lisi, the thing with your friend was a temporary highschool dating thing. Nothing wrong with that. I'm talking about later in life when looking for the serious, settling down relationship after you've developed into the person you will be in your adult life. Not in highschool when you chage on a daily basis.

As for breaking up: I'm not saying stay to gether because he/she treats you well. I'm saying, a real relationship works out arguements. I work out arguements with people I love, I don't get mad and just stop communicating with them. I think that's more a maturity issue than anything.

As for your friends: Where I'm from, I've seen girls and guys pressure their friends to break up with someone just because they didn't like the other person, or because the person they were with wasn't in the same social class, or because they just liked to start drama, etc. And seeing that so often, that's why I say don't take your friends advice as facts. I mean, always keep it in mind and consider it, but don't say "omg my friends said I should break up with you but didn't have any real reason, but they said so, so it's over!" that kind of thing bugs me. So much.

So while some friends are true friends and try to help you, there are a lot who aren't really your friends and try to screw things up for you...

People usually leave me alone about being straight faced. Generally because they know 1) I won't talk about it if something is wrong, 2) rarely is something wrong 3) they just don't give enough of a f*** about me to ask.

However, I must boast a bit to say I'm rather efficient at controlling my facial expressions in relation to my emotions. So I almost always look straight faced. It's just my look. I can smile and laugh and frown and stuff, but I usually don't unless I have a reason to. The thing I can't hide, is my eyes. And people who know me well and are close, they've figured out that you can tell if something is really bothering me by the way I carry myself and the look in my eyes.

But yeah, I know what you mean about people asking what's wrong when nothing is, because it is annoying, but at the same time I'm kind of happy about it, because it's like "well at least someone cares enough to ask."

I have a female friend like that. She can't hide that's something wrong. Well from some people she can, but not from me. But I never pressure her into telling me, because that would just piss her off. (she's VERY VERY VERY emo....not hard to piss her off) I know that if she wants to, and in time time, she'll tell me. She usually does. It's taken me months to get her to understand that she can trust me and I'll always to try to help her out, even if she's being a little b**** to me (and she HAS tested it...mutter mutter), if something happens and she needs to talk, I'm there. That's just the kind of person I am. Squabbles and petty differences really don't matter with me. I mean, I love my friends and I'm there for them....And I admit, she's one of the only people I know who can pick up if something's bothering me by my speech patterns. Especially if I'm typing, she notices differences in my grammar and word selection and busts me on it.

[seffy]

I have a question for you guys, it's kinda related to what you're talking about but it does go off on a tangent as well.
Do you think it's possible to fall in love with someone on the Internet? Baring in mind all the factors, like masquerading as someone your not, false personas, yadda yadda yadda. Is it possible to truly get to know someone, whether through Messengers like MSN and Yahoo, or through PM's and e-mails, and to develop true and passionate feelings for them?

[2bfoundwanting]

I am going to say yes. It is. Though i would like to put in the disclaimer that while it is POSSIBLE it is very unlikely. VERY unlikely. But i do think its possible. I know this because i have a family friend that I have known since i was born, but we only see eachother two times a year. And it wasn't until this year that we started talking on AIM. We started after seeing eachother one time and with in the six months before we saw eachother again, we had become ten times closer. I do think it is possible because it is so easy to let everything out and truely tell the other person how you feel about things.

Now. The reason why its so unlikely is because most people dont put their real self out there. As well as, they dont see the otherpersons habits or even really see them to know if they are attracted to them, or if their demeanor annoys the hell out of them, or whatever. So many people who think they like someone just from IM or PMs or whatever are being extremley unrealistic.

But i really really do think it is possible.

[Tyual]

Well, it works for some people. Including my mom. She met my stepdad on the internet. And they're happy. So I guess it is.

For me personally, no. Why? I keep in mind the idea of people out there who do the whole false persona and such. Also, as I said earlier, I like to be able to see and spend time with whoever my girlfriend is, so I don't even consider falling for someone online. For me, that's just a matter of control over my own mind. And emotions. I've spent several years working on being in very good control of my emotions. And I still don't have them as under wraps as I'd like sometimes.

So for me, no it's not an option unless the person I met I could verify as who they are (something like Facebook.) and were within a distance that I could see them at regular intervals. Like the furthest I'd try to have a relationship is around Little Rock I guess, about 2 hours distance max. Take a weekend, go spend it with my girlfriend, go on long weekends, holidays when I'm out for extended periods of time, and maybe even skip a Monday and stay up there an extra day. (Would do it Friday and go early, but Friday is football game night...)

So yeah, I think that really depends on your personal allowances. For me, I wouldn't fall for a girl online. It's not my thing. Maybe I'm jut behind the ages living in Arkansas, old fashioned, whatever the hell you call it, it just doesn't float my boat....

Although I disagree with Lisi on something. A girl I go to school with, a good friend of mine now, when I first started talking to her, I randomly IMed her from contact info on a school website thing and such. Just for the hell of it, I was bored. And even still, most of the talking we do is don online. We're busy, different places at different times usually and with different friends and just don't talk a lot in person. But we do talk a lot online and when we are around eachother, there's an understood friendship and respect that we've gained from all the talking even if it is online. Mainly because we're both good at calling eachother on our BS and such, and neither of us really bothers to hide who we are. We are who we are and if someone doesn't like it, then f*** them. That's just a common view we have on it....

But yeah, again, online dating is a no falling in love thing for me. Because that's my personal philosophy, which is what this thread is about...

[2bfoundwanting]

Okay wait, what exactly do you dissagree with?... i dont dissagree with anything you said..

[seffy]

I guess it depends on the person really. I can talk to someone on, say, msn and over a short period of time get to know more about them than they actually tell me (I've even found out one person who was actually a male pretending to be female, though he wasn't really doing it for creepy reasons. He was a member of an RP site and he was playing a female character to see if he could do it without anyone telling the differance. He actually pulled it off until he went on msn with me. ) So finding the real person you're talking to on Messengers isn't impossible if you take the time to look.
However, it does highlite one of the main dangers of internet relationships, people pretending to be someone they're not.

[Tyual]

About not being able to get close to someone, or get to really know them on the internet. That's what I disagreed on.

Seffy, being able to see people like that is a talent. I don't know many other people who can. Why? Well because most of the people I meet are shallow and don't care and don't get implied meanings and learn things from what is said, they just take things as they are. That and they don't really care.

But yeah, that is a big danger with the online dating stuff...

[2bfoundwanting]

uhm... I DO think that people can get really close on the internet... hence my friend story... we never saw eachother but got really close on IM over a short span of time.

I believe its very easy for people to become friends over AIM. Me and Elmo are friends and we only know eachother over AIM, and we are pretty good friends at that. And Ive made other friends from other states of the interenet. I think its extremely easy to become close friends over the internet.

I just dont think its extremely easy to fall in LOVE over the internet. But thats a completely different ball game in my opinion.

And about attention to detail, and your ability to see things that aren't said.. that is quite a talent. But i disagree that few people have it. I almost make it a point to make friends with people who aren't shallow and who do see the underlying meaning of things. I think its very important to be able to look close enough at things and see what isn't being said and the implications.
But Seffy, its true that you are ESPECIALLY good at it.

[Tyual]

Oh I'm naturally attracted to be around other intelligent people too, Lisi. I'm just saying that there are very few people I know who have it. Maybe it's just because of where I live. But seriously, people who I'm surrounded by day in and day out, are 97% shallow, or more of them.